BreakThrough in Having Fun!

BreakThrough Blogcast – Episode 31 with Jaimes McNeal, creator and host of BreakThrough Blogcast, with first time co-host Tammie Renfro. Tammie is a wife and mother of three, a certified speaker, working in the business world while having fun making a difference in her community in a number of areas. Tammie is the newest contributor to BreakThrough Blog.

Roundtable guest: Casey Bazzell.

In this episode, Casey remembers a time in her childhood, and the painful memories associated with that time, that has her not trust herself as an adult. By looking at how she has compartmentalized herself for so many different people, the part of herself that she’s lost touch with is her inner child—which is a key to having fun. By no longer lying to herself, or others, about who she is, Casey can finally begin to become her true self, connecting with that child inside.

To listen to episode 31 click the play › button to the left below

You can listen and/or download this episode and all of the BreakThough Blogcast episodes on iTunes.

BreakThrough BlogCast is a virtual roundtable hosted every Monday from 6:00 pm – 7:00 pm CST by Jaimes McNeal, Co- Director and Featured Teacher in Breakthrough: A Conscious Documentary.

Each week, Jaimes and a Featured Guest Co-Host will embark on ExtraOrdinary Conversations with Ordinary People all about mastering life. With interaction from our Online Community, you will discover tools and real-life solutions to help you discover your greatest potential.

For information on how to listen to the blogcast live or participate as a co-host or roundtable guest please visit our BlogCast page

I don’t know about you, but I hate elevator speeches.  Why?  Because I don’t have one.  I used to console myself by saying, “You’ll have one-just wait until your book is completed.”  The book is done.  I still don’t have an elevator speech.

This was brought home quite clearly to me in the last couple of weeks, and may I add, not in a pleasant way.

1^st experience:  I was assisting in an Imago Couple’s Workshop in Chicago with Jill Fein Baker.  Graciously, she offered me some time to share with the class about A New Fearless You.   I sputtered, I scrambled and I stumbled.   I don’t think anyone in that room could have repeated what I said.  I know I couldn’t have.

2^nd experience:  I have always wanted my brain surgeon to know I’ve written this book and the important role he has played in my life.  I called his office and when his nurse asked me  about the book- let’s just say- same scenario.

So being the “bright person” I am, I knew this had to stop.  Cindy, my co-author, wrote a wonderful elevator speech for me.   And I thought I had it down pat until yesterday…

My new beautician asked me a simple question, “What is your book about?”  I froze.  Now people who know me may find it hard to believe, but truth is truth. I have learned a long time ago and again yesterday- it has to be my words or it doesn’t flow (What an understatement.)

Right now, I have an opportunity- that is a euphemism for not-a-done-deal- to make a small appearance on a national  TV show.  What do they want?  You guessed it.  Three talking points.  You and I both know that means an elevator speech with arms, legs, fingers and toes.   So here’s what I got so far that flows naturally from my mouth.

Who is the target audience?  If you are stuck, stressed-out and scared you are going to sell out, this book is for you.  (Easy enough, I can remember 3 S’s)

What makes this book different from other books?  It is based on the premise people play childhood games like Hide and Seek when fear enters their lives.

Last but not least, what are the benefits?  Reduce stress (another word for fear), Resolve conflict, and Reach solutions.  (Easy enough- 3 R’s and it is all true)

Bingo.  I can do this.  Now I can have some fun with my new elevator speech.  If you think of it, when you see me- you can ask me how I’m coming along.

Until next week,

Evonne Weinhaus

Last week, I dedicated my blog to Walking with Children. I took my own advice, and wrote about something personal. A special thank you to those of you who took the time to participate in the virtual fundraiser to raise $1,000. If you haven’t written a check yet, but thought about. Please, write a check now.

This week, I’m going to round out August’s discussion topic with dedicating my final blog for August 2010 to Ellen Pratt, the founder of Happy Hearts Animal Rescue Ranch . And, I’m going to break tradition…and post her own words.

Here’s Ellen…

The long term goal of Happy Hearts is to obtain major funding that will allow us to have a ranch facility where we can have a significant impact on eliminating pet over-population and animal cruelty, while enriching the lives of people through animal relationships.

In the meantime, we function out of foster homes, mainly mine. We have been fortunate to find new forever homes for our rescued animals quickly. Because I live in St. Louis County, and in a sub-division, I can only take in so many. The fast turnover means I can rescue more animals and there is a constant flow of new animals that are trying to get acquainted to their new surroundings, my home. This also means getting used to the neighbors being in their backyards, the neighborhood dogs, and people walking down the street. To keep pace with my neighbors, and avoid complications with the county, I must replace the current chain-link fence with 6’ wooden privacy fence.

We are a non-profit corporation, and exist on donations. The dogs need a 230ft of fencing and posts (roughly 29 eight foot sections). The funding for a fence is more than our budget currently allows. I am requesting your support in obtaining the fence. Any and all help, such as monetary donations, fence materials donated, installation, price discounts, etc., are greatly appreciated.

No one knows better than me that the economy is rough right now. I currently have four dogs because the owners lost their homes. I have two additional dogs due to the death of the owners and the family can’t care for the dogs. We want to help the animals, but also the people who are going through some of the roughest times of their lives. I fear that we will not be able to do all we can without the fence.

I’m a very independent person, and it isn’t easy for me to ask for help, but I’m not asking for myself…I am asking for the homeless and abandoned animals we can help with your support.

Thank you,

Ellen Pratt

Please visit their website, and send a tax-deductible donation to Happy Hearts Animal Rescue Ranch, P.O. Box 301, Fenton, MO 63026-0301.

Use this discussion board/blog to post your insights. Read and discuss the insights of others. Go for it!

BreakThrough in Having Fun!

BreakThrough Blogcast – Episode 30 with Jaimes McNeal, creator and host of BreakThrough Blogcast, with resident co-host Evonne Weinhaus. Evonne is a professional speaker, a communications coach, and co-author of A New Fearless You.

Roundtable guest: Bianca Thompson.

In this episode, Bianca talks about her job in corporate America in that it doesn’t feed her spirit, it isn’t in alignment with her passion, and how fear keeps her stuck. You will hear the actual thought process of moving through her fear to taking the first small steps toward freedom. In her discovery, Bianca realizes that she has actually been angry with herself for settling and being so afraid to forward.

An inspiring show for anyone who is ready to have fun doing what they love and discover the ways to take the first small steps toward making a difference…while making a living. If you work in corporate America, and think you are stuck there, this episode is for you. If you aren’t living your passion—and don’t know where to start—begin with this episode and be inspired!

To listen to episode 30 click the play › button to the left below

You can listen and/or download this episode and all of the BreakThough Blogcast episodes on iTunes.

BreakThrough BlogCast is a virtual roundtable hosted every Monday from 6:00 pm – 7:00 pm CST by Jaimes McNeal, Co- Director and Featured Teacher in Breakthrough: A Conscious Documentary.

Each week, Jaimes and a Featured Guest Co-Host will embark on ExtraOrdinary Conversations with Ordinary People all about mastering life. With interaction from our Online Community, you will discover tools and real-life solutions to help you discover your greatest potential.

For information on how to listen to the blogcast live or participate as a co-host or roundtable guest please visit our BlogCast page

Remember when you were a kid and all you thought about was playing!  You had a keen sense to what was fun and what was not. 

A grownup is a child with layers on.  ~Woody Harrelson

I am often accused of being childish sometimes.  I prefer to interpret that as child-like.  I still get enthusiastic about little things.  I tend to exaggerate and fantasize and embellish.  I swing on the swings. I climb on the monkey bars.  I still listen to instinctual urges.  I play with leaves.  I skip down the street and run against the wind.  It is in those moments I feel free.

Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.  ~Jean de la Bruyere 

During this past weekend I had the opportunity to be reminded by several of my friend’s children how fun and simple life really is…. Ronin who is 2 was eating his pancakes.  In one hand he had his fork and eating his pancakes with his empty hand. He was covered in chocolate chip pancakes he was completely enjoying them.  Ronin communicated at that exact second when his brain decided I am done enjoying these pancakes. He was on to the next moment and what he wanted next was to play at the park. Ronin reminded me how simple it is to have fun and how communication will get you what you desire.

While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about. ~Angela Schwindt 

Ahhh the laughter of 4 year old Ella, she is such a treat.  Ella has blonde hair big blue eyes and a smile that simply just creates a smile on your face instantly. She reminds me to laugh and to enjoy what is around me.  She inspires me to tap into my inner child.

Every child is an artist.  The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.  ~Pablo Picasso

Eleven year old Autumn reminds me to be creative, use my imagination and have fun with my friends. Autumn is always creating.

This got me thinking that life is pretty simple… we just simply have to eat, laugh and play. 

So what holds us back?

All growth involves saying good-bye to something and saying hello to new possibilities. But nowhere did we have to give up having fun.

Growth consists of transforming to one stage of development in order to be born to another stage of development.

At some point in becoming an adult you had to let go so you could become your own person, to really explore. What do I think? What are my values? What do I think life is about? What’s really important to me? What is fun?

One of the great challenges of growing up is to realize that if you’re now an adult, the only person who can give you what you want is you. Growing up means that you become your own parent you are responsible for you. It means that you feel love, understanding and compassion for the child you once were.

What too many people do is as adults they take the parent’s side against the child that is still inside you. You feel impatient and scornful of the child you once were. You’re as cruel or crueler to the child you once were more than your mother and father ever thought about being. You may say things like: I’m not good enough, I am too busy to have fun, I’m to old….or you worry about what others will think.

My childhood may be over, but that doesn’t mean playtime is.  ~Ron Olson

You have to re-embrace that child, and you have to have the courage to take that child’s side. Say to yourself, “A child is entitled to expect to be held and loved and caressed and nurtured. As a child I am worthy to cut myself a break and have some fun. You are not wrong to want those things. And it’s understandable that it really hurt when you didn’t get them. And I’m going to be here with you and for you forever, from this point on. –Love Me”

You want to enter into a real loving relationship with the child you once were and have some fun!  Life is too short!

In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Take a moment to explore your own feelings toward the child you once were and to wonder about the role your child-self might have in your life today.

Here are three things you can do immediately to connect with your inner child and realize more of your true potential.

First, think back to your childhood, and remember the events that had such an emotional impact on you. Accept them as a necessary part of growing up.

Second, have the courage to take the side of that child that you once were. Accept yourself fully and unconditionally, and don’t be so hard on yourself as an adult.

Third, you can simply eat your pancakes without a fork, laugh until your belly hurts, and use your creative imagination to play and by all means have fun!

When I sat down to write this week’s blog, I realized that I have, perhaps, said everything there is to say about creating a breakthrough in having fun. In fact, I was beginning to feel like writing about fun is quite a lot of work. I’ve started and re-started this blog so many times, that I was beginning to feel a little discouraged because perhaps I wouldn’t be able to come up with anything interesting to say.

Then, I decided to take my own advice. The advice to which I’m referring is what I say to other blog authors when they tell me they’re experiencing writer’s block. What do I say? I say, “Write what you know. Write about what’s going on. Write about what’s actually happening in and around you, and you’ll have no difficulty at all.”

What’s going on around me that’s fun? Well, what’s really fun for me is helping people achieve their goals. What’s fun is using whatever influence I have for good. You know, as my friend Joanie said, “have some fun, do some good, make some money”—and, in that order. So, this week I’d like to dedicate my blog to Chris Frederick.

Chris, is the director of Walking with Children in Tegucigalpa, Honduras (WWC). WWC is an organization that strives to improve the quality of life for Honduran children living with HIV/AIDS. They provide preventative and restorative health care, nutritional care, a comprehensive education, faith building, child development service and life-work skills to help re-integrate mature children into society.

A few weeks ago, Chris was in the US on a fundraising mission, and regrettably, one of her biggest supporters had to cancel a fundraiser, leaving the organization unable to reach its fundraising goal. So, for fun, I am committed to raise $1,000 to make up for the cancelled fundraiser.

Please help me reach that goal by participating in a “virtual” fundraiser that concludes on Tuesday, 31 August 2010. You can make a tax-deductible donation by sending a check made out to: Walking with Children in care of:

If you want to learn more about Chris’ work, check out Episode 13, of BreakThrough Blogcast on iTunes.

There, wasn’t that fun? Now, please help me have some fun, do some good, and make some money for Walking with Children! Make a donation by 31 August 2010…every little bit counts! And, please share this blog with at least one other person.

Use this discussion board/blog to post your insights. Read and discuss the insights of others. Go for it!

Finding the perfect balance between fun, work, life, and family seems for many an impossible quest. It’s a delicate balance and it might be comforting to know many of us have the same questions, doubts, and hesitations about this game.  Through my own experience and in helping others, I have found five tips to create more fun and balance all around.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but by integrating these tips into your life, you will be well on your way.

1.  Decide What is Important to You

Decide what balance looks like for you.  Start by having fun with it.  Cut out pictures and write in your journal.  Find the words to describe your perfect life in all aspects.  Create a separate page or section for family, work, personal, etc…  Then dive deeper into the details.  How much time are you working, spending with family, with yourself, with friends or your significant other?  How much money do you want to make?  How many hours do you want to work?  What type of people do you want to be around?  What do you like to do for fun?  Get really clear about these different pieces and your ideal destination today.  Yes, this will change for you, so revisit your list every few months.

2. Be Present

Sarah is a successful entrepreneur who works mostly from home.  She thought she was doing her kids a greater service because they were often home while she worked.  But, she realized she couldn’t be present with them.  Presence means being completely in the moment with the person you are with, whether it is business associates or family. A great tool to help further explain these concepts are two books by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now and A New Earth.  When Sarah realized she was mentally in two places at the same time, she really worked hard to practice more presence in her life.  She started small by noticing when she was being pulled in different directions.  Take note, how often does this happen to you?  Next, pick one activity or time you’d like to have more presence and give it a try.

3. Keep Health a Priority

Incorporating fun and balance in our lives leads to better health.  On the flip side, if we’re not taking care of ourselves we will really put limits on ourselves to have fun and enjoy our lives. Start with your health to ensure a happier and more productive you.  Take a look at all areas of your health including mental and physical health.  Look at your sleeping, eating, exercising, and stress management habits.  Where would you like to improve?  One of the biggest obstacles people face is having time for more healthy habits.  Really, no one has time; it’s a matter of making and choosing priorities.  Introduce one healthy habit at a time.  Maybe you start by drinking more water.  Next, figure out an ideal amount of time you want to spend getting fit and work up to it.  Maybe you start by finding four hours a month to exercise.  Write it down and then get creative!  This too can be fun!  You might build in more exercise time by making it a family event.

4.  Time Block

Time blocking takes calendars to the next level.  Simply put, set aside time on Sunday or Monday to create a plan for the week.  Decide on the 3 most important personal, business, and family tasks you want to complete and don’t forget to schedule something fun to do every day! On a detailed schedule for the week you are going to include the 3 most important, as well as pre-scheduled.  You may even find it’s helpful to color code activities to get a sense of where your time is really going.  You can begin to add in more activities until your time block is full, but make sure you add personal things like family time, work out time, etc..You can always change your time block, but stay committed to the three priority activities you identify in each category.

5. It’s Ok to Say No

People who achieve better life work balance are great at saying no.  They figured out that they can choose what they have time to do.  They don’t always have to volunteer or be the best at everything.  Take note of your life.  Can you say no?  Are you clear about what you are and aren’t willing to do?  Look at times where you did say no.  What was the result?  Use that information and apply it to areas in your life where you’d like to say no more often.

Wherever you are in this journey, pick one place to start.  Remember to go easy on yourself, make it fun,  and take it one step at a time.  Start by focusing on one area you’d like to bring more fun or balance into your life and you will find before you know it you’ll be happier and healthier!

By:  Carrie Silver-Stock

Teen expert and founder of GirlsWithDreams.com.

Some of my friends and colleagues are really surprised I blogged about parenting issues and wanted to know more.  The truth: I am more surprised than they are. As promised, here is a small excerpt from what I thought would be our first, last and only parenting article. What do I know? Obviously, not a lot.  What am I learning?  The Universe has quite a sense of humor.  I am coming back full circle and integrating my old parenting world with our new book, A New Fearless You.(www.anewfearlessyou.com)  Enjoy!

When was the last time you played Hide and Seek?

Yes, Hide and Seek. Remember that game you played as kids around the old oak tree? It probably seems like a lifetime ago! But the bad news is you may be playing Hide and Seek or other childhood games right now. You just don’t know it.

How do you play?  Simple.  You hide from fear and seek answers outside yourself by trying to make your teenagers change.

Let’s look at an example about a mother who is similar to many other parents who wants their goals and dreams to drive their behavior, but they sabotage themselves and their relationship with their teens.  Unbeknownst to them, FEAR is driving their behavior.  They rob themselves of all their energy by trying to outrun their fear and over-control their teen’s life or they swing the other way and give up too much of their control.

Katherine thought she was just helping her daughter when she found out her daughter was skipping school.  First, she tried calling the teachers to get her daughter’s homework assignments so she wouldn’t fall behind in her grades. She even reorganized her days around her daughter’s school schedule by escorting her to and from school daily. But guess what? As soon as her daughter saw her mother’s car pull away, she left the school grounds.

What was Katherine hiding from and what was she seeking? Simply put, she was hiding from conflict and seeking peace.  More specifically, she was hiding from the fear of confrontation, or worse yet, her daughter flunking out of school, and seeking a “we are in this together” attitude.   The bottom line: Katherine was feeling emotionally and physically drained.   She had to make a change, removing the burden from her shoulders and placing it where it rightfully belonged – on her daughter.

She laid down the ground rules and followed-up by saying to her daughter:

• I have been worried about you going to school and I feel frustrated with you skipping (stating her thoughts and feelings).
• I know you’ve been hassled by me (recognizing the teen’s feelings).
• From now on, it’s up to you to work out your attendance record with your school (turning over responsibility).
• I will no longer talk to your teachers or drive you to school anymore (taking a stand).

She made a clear, concise statement about her own actions. She couldn’t change her daughter’s actions, but she could change her reactions.

And what is important to realize is Katherine’s  success depends on her follow-through, not how her daughter’s responds. Then, she has successfully stopped playing Hide and Seek.

Until next week,

Evonne Weinhaus

Don’t you love when you have one of those days when everything suddenly all comes together and falls into place?  When all that you have been striving for behind the scenes to manifest in your life actually begins to show up?   I had one of those days recently, and the joy and the excitement was so fun and energizing.  I was able to stay in that joyous place for several hours, but then, a few hours later, my dreaded gremlin began to rear its ugly head: Fear!   I had just spent several years totally transforming my life:  breaking through the door of so many of my fears, and stripping away limiting belief after limiting belief.  I had finally gotten myself to this wonderfully cool precipice of being “almost there”!  It is so comforting staying on the brink of really showing up in a big way in my life.  “Getting ready” to start my new career as a Life Coach and “getting ready” to launch my new website were such safe comfortable places to be.  I did not realize how much I loved staying in this “learning” and “getting ready” phase.  Now I was being asked to show up to do everything I knew I wanted to do and more importantly, TO BE who I wanted to be.  To allow myself to BE SEEN and to fully express WHO I AM in a public way.  This is everything I wanted.  So why am I so full of FEAR???

Wouldn’t it be so nice, if just for once, I could jump off the proverbial cliff and NOT feel the fear?  Okay, well maybe not.  I did that once, about 20 years ago.  I went skydiving, and was so out of touch with my feelings that I did NOT feel the fear. I jumped out of the airplane and broke my leg!   Yes, lesson learned is that stuffing your feelings does not necessarily end well. The other option to avoid that feeling of fear, is to play it safe, never doing anything that will challenge the status quo or take courage.  Gee, get to check that on off the list too.  I was hiding my inner light and who I was for many years, and created a life that was safe and where I could hide behind my mask of self-doubt.  When this strategy failed to work as well,  I realized maybe a 3^rd option regarding fear just might serve me better.  What would happen if I just allowed myself to FEEL my fear? In admitting, feeling and accepting the fear that I still feel in certain situations, something miraculous happens.  The fear no longer has quite as much power over me, as when it first rears its ugly head! So here I am, living the most wonderful life I can imagine for now, and day after day, feeling the fear, and continuing to jump off more and more cliffs.  I keep praying that those jumps will get easier, and some days, they do.  I have found that the more fun I have as I jump off each cliff, the easier it becomes the next time.

So as I step off my next cliff and into my destiny and share myself with all of you on the blogcast in a few weeks, I will be embracing all my feelings around this long sought after milestone.  I ask myself:  What am I really afraid of?  What if I fail?  What if I look silly? What if I do something wrong? All those are understandable, but when I really am honest with myself, I realize that my deepest fear of all just might be this ….. What if I succeed?

As Marianne Williamson so wonderfully wrote:

“My deepest fear is not that I am inadequate.
My deepest fear is that I am powerful beyond measure.
It is my light, not my darkness, that most frightens me.
I ask my Self, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

Actually, who am I not to be?
I am a child of God!

My playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around me.
We are all meant to shine like Godlike Beings.
We are all meant to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not in some of us; it’s in all of us!
And as I let my God light shine,
I unconditionally give others permission to do the same.
As I am liberated from my own fear, my presence automatically liberates others.”

My daughter and I on top of Pike's Peak. Thinking about the momentum it took for Zebulon Pike to climb this mountain.

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”– Anthony Robbins  

Answer these questions to find out.  

• If you have ever been in sales, is it easier to make a sale after you have established relationships with potential customers, or when you are just meeting them for the first time?
• If you’re a parent, is it easier to get your children to talk about something that’s bothering them, or to keep them talking once they open up?
• If you’re a student, is it easier to start writing a paper, or to keep writing once you are in flow?
• If you have ever tried to lose weight, was it easier to start the diet, or to stick to it once you started losing weight?

You know the answers:  You do better when you’re already in action.  Getting started is always the hardest part.  Momentum makes life better.  

Remember how momentum feels.  You feel powerful.  You feel great.  You feel confident.  You feel unstoppable.  And the beauty of momentum is that it is contagious.  When you achieve momentum in one area of your life, it is easier to achieve it in other areas of your life.  And when you experience momentum, the people around you benefit:  You give yourself, and everyone in your life, the best you have.  

It is amazing what fun you can have with a clown nose! One small change creates a momentum of fun!

Einstein said, “Objects at rest have no momentum.” So, think about everything that is important to you.  And ask yourself, “Am I moving?”  “What am I focused on?” “Am I living today with passion?”  

 Ask not what fun does for you but what you do for fun!– unknown