BreakThrough in Appreciating Who You Are

BreakThrough Blogcast – Episode 34 with Jaimes McNeal, creator and host of BreakThrough Blogcast, with returning co-host Tiffany Tatum. Tiffany, who last appeared in Episode 10 with returning roundtable guest Carmencita Perez, is a high priestess of alchemy, sound and vibration.

Roundtable Guests: Carmencita Perez and her ex-husband Tony Cruz.

As we continue September’s topic: BreakThrough in Appreciating Who You Are, it is also important to appreciate others. Carmencita acknowledged in Episode 10 that she was stepping out and trusting her voice, and in moving through her fear she reunited with her ex-husband, Tony, who joins us in this episode.

This episode is truly about appreciating each other as well as appreciating yourself and the power of forgiveness and how forgiveness can heal the world. Tiffany talks about forgiveness having the power to clear the lineage for seven generations before and seven generations to come. Listen to the harmonious blessing sung by Tiffany as she taps into oneness, love and the golden light.

To listen to episode 34 click the play › button to the left below

You can listen and/or download this episode and all of the BreakThough Blogcast episodes on iTunes.

BreakThrough BlogCast is a virtual roundtable hosted every Monday from 6:00 pm – 7:00 pm CST by Jaimes McNeal, Co- Director and Featured Teacher in Breakthrough: A Conscious Documentary.

Each week, Jaimes and a Featured Guest Co-Host will embark on ExtraOrdinary Conversations with Ordinary People all about mastering life. With interaction from our Online Community, you will discover tools and real-life solutions to help you discover your greatest potential.

For information on how to listen to the blogcast live or participate as a co-host or roundtable guest please visit our BlogCast page

All of us get hung up on our mistakes at one time or another.  All of us have run down the mental checklist of “I wish I would’ve, could’ve, etc…”.  You know the drill.  One of the best ways to start loving yourself more is to let intuition in and throw negative self talk out.

Step 1.  Take note of how much negative dialogue is going on in your head on a daily basis.  How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10?  Are you constantly rehearsing negative thoughts, or are you able to stay focused more on the positive?

Step 2.  Start an intuition log.  Write down at least 3 times a day you notice you are acting on your intuition.  Intuition is that gut feeling you get that feels completely in alignment at your core.  It’s that small voice inside your head that is good for you, not the negative nagging one.

Step 3.  Reconnect with what you really want in your life.  Take out a piece of paper and divide it into 5 boxes.  Write down the categories of Self, Family and Friends, Professional Life and Fun.  Then write down 1-3 things that are really important to you in each category.  Circle your most important.  Pick one or two categories you want to commit to make a change in.  Maybe you want to spend more quality time with your kids or maybe getting together with your girlfriends is a priority. 

Step 4.  Take Action.  Now that you have a focus, make sure you follow through.  You might consider starting a journal where you jot down different activities you incorporated for the day that felt totally like you or in perfect alignment.

Congratulations!  As you replace negative self talk with activities that are aligned with your true self you will develop a greater sense of appreciation for who you are and the beauty around you.

The key to appreciation and encouragement  even in the hardest of times is to realize the importance of the simple, everyday happenings that are all too often ignored. Read on and see how…

Shortly after 3 pm, Mrs. A. heard the familiar squeak of the back door and caught a glimpse of Arnie as  he raced by her, grabbed a handful of cookies  and made a beeline for the TV. 

 He had switched the channel from his sister’s Sesame Street program (he knew his sister wouldn’t mind) to his favorite cartoon and then settled back to enjoy his afternoon zone out time as he leisurely petted the family dog. 

 For Mrs. A. this typical afternoon presented a real challenge. Where were those simple, natural opportunities to build self-esteem?  Where was the art project so she could compare him to Picasso or a homework assignment so she could rave about his good work.   Mrs. A was discouraged, and truthfully she didn’t see a whole lot going on that afternoon that was worth complimenting.  Even more truthfully, if she hadn’t been feeling so loving or wanted to be so positive-she had to admit, she could see some mildly irritating behaviors that afternoon.

 ”What was I supposed to say?” she asked.

“I really like the way you switched your sister’s TV show and plopped down on the couch. ”

“I especially appreciated how you decided to move right to the TV and bypass any possible homework assignment.”

  Mrs. A was at a loss.  She could not find anything positive or encouraging to say, and therefore she decided to say nothing at all. Mrs. A needed some help in the encouragement department.  She needed to learn the skills that would help her find something positive even when the pickings were slim.  Here’s how she or any parent could begin to literally pull encouragement out a hat.  She could start by returning to  the most basic way for making the most of ho hum moments:

Enjoy Who Your Child Is

            “It’s sure good to see you.  You really brighten my day,”

            and she would put her arm around her son’s shoulder. 

            The first step in maximizing ho hum moments is to stop waiting for your child to produce something praiseworthy, act discouraged, or specifically request some encouragement with leading questions like,  “Did you see my great throw?” or “Do you like this project?” You can start where there are no expectations for performance at all. The easiest place to start is with something simple.  Begin to show your child that you unconditionally, indisputably enjoy who he is. There is nothing for the child to live up to-no expectations and no performance standards.         

 Highlight An Everyday Event

“Arnie, B.J. really seems to enjoy you petting him so gently on his tummy.  You sure have a way with him.”

 Like Mrs. A., many parents wait for an ideal situation so they can compliment their child.  Many times that ideal moment never arrives.  Then what?  I’d like to suggest an alternative.  Look at an uneventful everyday occurence, and then highlight it. 

Remember, every moment can’t be a “Kodak Moment”.  Just appreciate the simple pleasures. 

Until next week,

Evonne Weinhaus

This month, we’ve been focusing our blog and blogcast discussions on appreciating who you are. As I sat in the workshop looking around, I was struck by the importance of our decision, because who showed up was an amazing group of people who represent the broadest spectrum of the community; there were older people, younger people, mostly women, grandparents/parents/children, committed relationships, gay/straight/transgendered, and even a few men. However, what struck me the most were the “children”—their openness, insight, and willingness to teach us was startling…they really “get it.” They see right through the B.S. we’ve been spewing!

(Performance by Sweet Honey in The Rock, one of my favorite groups of all-time)

What kind of world are we creating for our children? How have we made it safe for them to experience and express who they are? Have we simply imprinted on them the same restrictions our parents’ generation imprinted on us? It got me to thinking: If you were put in charge of a standard operating procedures manual for raising a child, what three key elements would you include and why?

Here’s how I would answer the question…

1. Always allow my child to feel his feelings.

All too often, I see parents tell their children what they should be feeling. Or, when the child is sad or upset, they try to have the child feel differently than he feels. It is imperative that children be allowed the space to experience their feelings so that they never learn to fear them. Children who aren’t allowed to feel their feelings grow up to be adults who don’t feel their feelings.

2. Always allow my child the room to explore her interests.

All too often, I’ve seen parents program their children to be carbon copies of themselves, or to be the upgraded version of everything they themselves never were. It’s important that children be allowed to explore the world (within the reasonable boundaries for their safety) without hinderance or prompting. As the parent, my job would be to provide as many opportunities for my child to experience the world based on her natural proclivities.

3. Always tell my child the truth.

All too often, parents pour ridiculous myths into the heads of their children, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. I know they may seem like harmless stories that children eventually learn to outgrow, but I just find them completely unnecessary because they teach children that under the right conditions, the adults in your life will lie to you.

…it seems to me that a breakthrough in appreciating who you are means to appreciate who our children are. What is your standard operating procedure manual for raising children? And, why? It doesn’t matter if you have a child or not, perhaps the SOP manual is for none other than yourself. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood!

Today’s blog is dedicated to our wonderful teachers: Yuki, Allison, and Eddie. Thank you for everything you taught us yesterday. As your community ally, I am committed to continuing to listen to the extraOrdinary conversation your generation is ready to have!

Use this discussion board/blog to post your standard operating procedure. Read and discuss the insights of others. Go for it!

BreakThrough in Appreciating Who You Are

BreakThrough Blogcast – Episode 33 with Jaimes McNeal, creator and host of BreakThrough Blogcast, with resident co-host Evonne Weinhaus. Evonne is a professional speaker, a communications coach, and co-author of A New Fearless You.

Roundtable guest: Sandy Moss, Life Coach and Massage Therapist

In this episode, Sandy acknowledges the courage present in the creator, teachers and students of “BreakThrough” and roundtable guests from previous BreakThrough Blogcast episodes, and as a new life coach, she talks about the courage that will be required of her as she delivers her message expressing her authentic self.

Listen in as Evonne talks about seeing your actions, thoughts, and feelings through the lens of courage instead of fear, so it becomes an internal change and then you begin to appreciate who you are. Hear Sandy demonstrate courage as she accepts Jaimes’ challenge, live on the air.

This episode will inspire you to stop comparing yourself to everyone else and truly appreciate who you are!

To listen to episode 33 click the play › button to the left below

You can listen and/or download this episode and all of the BreakThough Blogcast episodes on iTunes.

BreakThrough BlogCast is a virtual roundtable hosted every Monday from 6:00 pm – 7:00 pm CST by Jaimes McNeal, Co- Director and Featured Teacher in Breakthrough: A Conscious Documentary.

Each week, Jaimes and a Featured Guest Co-Host will embark on ExtraOrdinary Conversations with Ordinary People all about mastering life. With interaction from our Online Community, you will discover tools and real-life solutions to help you discover your greatest potential.

For information on how to listen to the blogcast live or participate as a co-host or roundtable guest please visit our BlogCast page

 Adults envy movie stars, wishing they had their handsome or beautiful looks and buckets full of money. Teenagers wish they were rock stars or sports celebrities. And kids? They often are jealous of other kids in the popular cliques, kids who have the latest video games or coolest clothes.

 It seems that not liking who you are or appreciating yourself is universal and spans all age groups from the young to the old. Read on … 

I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE ME

      Swinging very high in the tire swing, Max could see Comb Rooster playing down the lane.  They weren’t near each other but Max could still see who it was.

            “I wish I looked like Comb Rooster” he thought.  “Everyone always knows Comb Rooster because of his shiny, red comb.  Nobody ever knows me!  My hair is just mousy brown.”

            “Max” his mom called from the window, “It’s bath time now. Come on in the house.”

            Once in the bathtub Max started thinking about how great Comb Rooster always looked.  “Gosh” thought Max, “Today is hair washing day and I know just what will happen.  I’ll get soap in my eyes again and start crying.  If I had a big beautiful red comb like Comb Rooster, I wouldn’t have to think about things like SOAP and SHAMPOO and CRYING.”  Just then Max had a terrific idea.  He could hardly wait to get started.

            Sometime later his sister Pepper walked into the bathroom for her brush.  She couldn’t believe her eyes.

            “Yikes! Max” shrieked Pepper.  “What did you do?  You look positively yukky!”

            There on the bathroom floor sat Max – his hair sticking straight up and ketchup all over his head and face.

            “I do not look yukky!” screamed Max.  “I look just like Comb Rooster. Now I have red hair too!”

            “No!  No more!  Please stop!  You can’t look like Comb Rooster.  You look like Max.  There is only one Max in the world and there is only one Comb Rooster!”  laughed Pepper.  “Believe me, one of you is enough!”

            “Anyway if you did look like Comb Rooster, how would I know you?  I don’t want Comb Rooster for a brother, I want you!  I like how you look.  You look just like you.”

            Max looked back in the mirror at that funny hair with ketchup all over it and he started laughing, too.  “I really do look silly,” he admitted, “and I feel icky, too.”  He washed again and took another look.  It didn’t seem so important to look like Comb Rooster anymore.  In fact, he kind of liked what he saw.

 And this is a lesson we all need to learn. Although this child’s tale may seem simple, it’s message is multi-generational and learning to like yourself for who you are – with all your warts and insecurities – can be just as easy.

Until next week,

 Evonne Weinhaus

Last weekend, I attended a conference called Movers and Shakers in Toronto presented by Hay House. The decision to participate in this conference was made on a gut or instinctive level with little to no thought or initial planning—a rare instance for those who really know me. Usually, I like to plan what’s happening, or at least see the features and benefits before coming to a final decision.

In a conversation with Maggie Holbik, of Crystal Clear Coaching, a new friend from Thunder Bay, Ontario about the possibility of her hosting a screening of “BreakThrough” in her community, she asked me if I had heard of this conference, and was I planning on attending. At the time I wasn’t, but I felt the “immediate sensation” that it was something that I should immediately jump on. We’ve all had that feeling, haven’t we? I quickly browsed the website, called Michal, and in less than an hour we had confirmed booking.

As the weeks passed, I consciously chose to not read much about the conference activities because I simply wanted to show up and experience whatever was to be in store. We landed in Toronto—a city I had always planned to visit but somehow never had—and I had the sense that something magical was about to happen. A few weeks earlier, we had received notice that we were not accepted in the Toronto International Film Festival that coincidentally was happening at the same time of the conference. “Awesome,” I thought. “Now there’s one more film festival that didn’t accept us!”

Since we’ve applied to numerous film festivals, I was determined to frame each “rejection” with a sense of excitement and gratitude instead of disappointment. I think the key to appreciating who you are is to fully embrace all of life’s experiences; the good and the bad, the ups and the down. (But really…how kewl would it have been to be in Toronto watching your own film in one of the largest film festivals in the world?! I mean, come on!!)

After meeting up with Maggie, we walked three abreast to the conference center just a few blocks away while marveling at the undeniable pulse of downtown Toronto. We easily found our destination, completed our registration, and slipped into seats near the front. After a few minutes, I needed to run to the restroom so that I could be fully present when the conference began. I walked out the door…and BAM! I nearly knocked over an older impeccably dressed lady. “Excuse me!” I begged, while righting myself as I made sure she too was none to worse for our unexpected encounter; and continued my bee-line to the men’s room. When I returned, Michal and Maggie were…they were…uh…well, there’s no other way to describe it except…buzzing. Why were they buzzing? The impeccably dressed lady I had just run over was  walking around introducing herself. Who was she? She was Louse L. Hay, the author of You Can Heal Your Life.

I laughed to myself,  “Wow. That’s how it works, huh? The two of them are aflutter and I nearly knocked her over.”

Ms. Hay sat quietly in a chair in the front row for the entire three days. As the days went by, we learned about how to become a mover and shaker in the world. The subject of our discussions were focused on how to bring your message to a wider audience. There were several powerful “a-ha” moments, sprinkled with “Wow. I never thought of that!” On the final day, Ms. Hay took the stage at the beginning of the morning’s session to speak a few gracious words about herself and the vision for Hay House.

In the end, I re-learned the power of words and thoughts. She commissioned each of us to govern our thoughts and consciously chose only those thoughts that bring us our highest good; while admonishing us about making plans. Her vision: I always make plans, but I say, this is what I’m up to unless the universe has another plan for me.

As I look back over the experience, and all the incredible people we met, I feel a deep appreciation not only for myself, but for Michal and for all the incredibly talented people who have helped us bring “BreakThrough’s” message to the world.

As a result of the conference, I committed to “Share the Wealth.” As you read this blog, sharing the wealth means I’m going to share with you a main idea from our conference in Toronto so that you receive the benefit “as if” you had been there.

So, here’s your assignment this week:

1. Commit to paying attention to your thoughts;
2. Consciously choose only thoughts that bring to you the highest good; and
3. And always remember, whenever you bump into somebody, be sure to say excuse me because that person could be Louise L. Hay.

Oh, and oh yeah…on the last day of the conference Michal bumped into the beautiful Faye Dunaway in the elevator of our hotel. Bumping into Louis Hay in the hallway and Faye Dunaway in an elevator…now, that’s what I call being a mover and shaker!

Use this discussion board/blog to post your insights. Read and discuss the insights of others. Go for it!

BreakThrough In Appreciating Who You Are.

BreakThrough Blogcast – Episode 32 with Jaimes McNeal, creator and host of BreakThrough Blogcast.  This episode takes place from Thunder Bay, Ontario, with guest co-host Maggie Holbik, the sponsor of the international screening of “BreakThrough” — which took place immediately following the blogcast.

Maggie, of Crystal Clear Coaching is a Certified Life Coach with The Life Purpose Institute. She is trained in both career coaching and life purpose coaching. Having focused on having fun, doing good and making money in the month of August, this episode starts a new topic for September — BreakThrough in Appreciating Who You Are!

Roundtable guest:  Jacqueline Garwood of Thunder Bay, Ontario. Jackie is a Career Coach and Trainer.

This episode begins by examining beliefs and how particular belief’s behaviors create results: some that work and some that don’t. In this episode, Jackie identifies relationships as an area in her life that isn’t working. She begins to uncover some of her beliefs about relationships and commits to having a breakthrough in that area.

To listen to episode 32 click the play › button to the left below

You can listen and/or download this episode and all of the BreakThough Blogcast episodes on iTunes.

BreakThrough BlogCast is a virtual roundtable hosted every Monday from 6:00 pm – 7:00 pm CST by Jaimes McNeal, Co- Director and Featured Teacher in Breakthrough: A Conscious Documentary.

Each week, Jaimes and a Featured Guest Co-Host will embark on ExtraOrdinary Conversations with Ordinary People all about mastering life. With interaction from our Online Community, you will discover tools and real-life solutions to help you discover your greatest potential.

For information on how to listen to the blogcast live or participate as a co-host or roundtable guest please visit our BlogCast page

It’s no secret that one of my favorite Sunday morning rituals is CBS News Sunday Morning. I mean, the weekend isn’t the weekend until I hear the jaunty fanfare theme song by celebrated trumpeter Wynton Marsalis. The fanfare reminds me of all my years in marching band in high school and college…and it just makes me feel good, you know? You fans of the show know what I mean, don’t you? Sure…you do!

It’s also no secret that I don’t really enjoy watching nightly network news programs. For me, those shows simply blare the news at you; and the overwhelming message is fear, Fear, FEAR! Be afraid. The economy is down the tubes! Be afraid. There was a robbery/rape/tragedy here or there! Be careful. The polls say that no one agrees with anyone else about anything! Be suspicious.

…at least that’s how all those sound bytes occur to me! For me, CBS News Sunday Morning is like having the week’s slate wiped clean so that I can start again.

CBS News Sunday Morning is a show that analyzes the week’s events, from an even perspective, and takes care to broadcast stories of love, joy, and hope. At the end of every show, I always feel not only good about myself, but also about the beauty in the world around us. However, a few weeks ago there was a story by Fast Draw that really caught my eye, ears, and heart.

The story’s lead-in was:  “Ever think about meeting a famous person in history? Play ball with Babe Ruth? Wage war with Ghengis Khan? Peace with Ghandhi?  It turns out you touch greatness every day because of something you could call extreme recycling.”

“Wow,” I thought! “What an interesting take on a beautiful concept!”

It turns out that this extreme recycling refers to the atoms that we breathe, travel all around the world, and connect us intimately with every one else. It’s sort of a Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon Game – biological version. (And, yes, that’s a picture of Kevin Bacon with Bernie Madoff…a connection perhaps Bacon wishes were a few degree further away! I said I don’t enjoy network news, I didn’t say I was ignorant of current affairs…Geez!)

Each time we exhale, the atoms in the air go on an extreme journey around the world, according to Stewart Samuel, a physicist. After running the numbers, he says that if you lived, in say, Idaho, within a relatively short time, the air you exhaled circles the globe winding up in Bangkok. Of real interest, the fact that at any time the 200 billion atoms in your body were also in the bodies of notable personalities such as Shakespeare, Ghandi, Babe Ruth, and (insert your favorite personality’s name here). This means, however, that you have also been touched by such people like Hitler, Mussolini, and Dillinger. According to Samuel, this mixing only takes a few months to happen, which means you are right now connected to nearly every body else on earth! Can you feel me right now as you read this? I’m feeling what I think is you!

So, the next time you don’t feel appreciated…stop and realize exactly who you have inside of you right now. And, the next time you want to lash out because of some injustice…maybe you’ll realize that the person with whom you need to have a meeting might just be you!  Perhaps, this conversation is a perfect way to launch this month’s topic: BreakThrough in Appreciating Who You Are.

Use this discussion board/blog to post your insights. Read and discuss the insights of others. Go for it!

Picture a large table-144 inches to be exact that seats 12-14 people- all set with soup, dinner and salad plates, silverware, apples and honey, set off with lit candles in sterling silver candlesticks. It was like something you’d see out of a Martha Stewart magazine or something Rachel Ray would create. It was the evening of our Jewish New Year.  I had decided to do something different this year – you know something fun, something WOW, and something special.  We’d have a caterer to make the food and at the last moment, we splurged and hired a server.  Everything was set.  There was only one problem.

           Oh it turned out special all right – specially humorous! At this large table, there were only four of us.  Shel, my husband sat at one end, me at the other end, my mom and my daughter-in-law across from each other in the middle.  My son and our grandkids were still at High Holiday Services and he didn’t have his phone with him. 

            There we were.  It was quite a sight to behold; four people spread out with an elongated table all set ready for the food.   Now comes decision time. Do you wait; do you eat?  Do you get angry or let go of the anger and seize the moment- or more precise- the food.   No doubt what we did.

            We totally seized the moment.  Shel joined us at my end of the table- we forgot our original plan of buffet style and our server served us like we were kings and queens.  My daughter-in-law did a double-take.  She had no kids around her and was being served her food.  And it was HOT – what a treat for a busy Mom. Only thing she had to think about was does she want more salad.  The food prepared by Chef Thymes (extrathrymes@att.net) was absolutely delicious!!

            We four don’t usually get together by ourselves, so we had a chance to catch-up and share a few good laughs.  We were glad to see the late arrivals-our son and grandkids, but by that time, our tummies were full and we were into our conversation.  It is a good thing, too, because their tummies were full, too. They ended up having a late lunch and I knew how full they really were when our grandson said that the cupcake was too big.  Have you ever known a child to pass up sugar? Yeah, right!

            Could this night have been a disaster?  I’d be lying if I said no.  All this food and no people.  You bet!  You know the fears – throw a party and nobody comes. So I had two choices … hold this one over my son’s head until I was very, very old (good guilt ammunition) or sit back and…

 Appreciate what we had right in front of us- food, fun, and family.  I appreciated myself; I offered the exact kind of Holiday Dinner that I wanted to.  And sometimes maybe that is the lesson we have to learn – appreciate the good things that are right in front of us (particularly the carrot cake with double butter frosting!).  Don’t get all caught up in your expectations of the “perfect holiday dinner”. Seize the moment!

Anyone want leftovers?

Until next week,

Evonne Weinhaus