Recently I wrote about a new book I read called the Power of Half.  It describes one family’s journey into the process of giving.  Thru their story, described by Kevin Salwen the dad and Hannah the daughter, you will find yourself inspired to look for new ways to give to those around you and the world. 

 One of the fun things about this book is Hannah shares many different activities to help individuals and families further explore the idea of giving.  Here are a few of my favorite:

- If you have young children in your family, check out Learning to Give.org, which shares service projects for youth workers.

-Challenge yourself to breakout of the American society’s standard accumulation mode.  A powerful quote by e.e. cummings to support your efforts. “To be nobody but yourself-in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else-means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight”  

 -Would you trade togetherness in your family over stuff?  “In a world where we often have excess, what would happen if we all chose just one thing in our lives that we have enough of and gave away half?  Magic.  Think about it:  cutting in half the number of weekly lattes, the hours spend online, the excess blood in our bodies.  One trick we learned: sustained giving is more unifying.  We lived it over time.” From the Power of Half.

 How are you celebrating generosity?  We’d love to hear your ideas about giving and what you’re doing to reach out to others throughout the year.

This November, I read an amazing book I couldn’t wait to tell you about called, The Power of Half:  One Family’s Decision to Stop Taking and Start Giving Back by Kevin and Hannah Salwen.  The Salwen family’s journey into giving began after their 14 year old daughter Hannah saw a homeless man on one side of the street and a man driving a Mercedes on the other.  She thought, “Dad, if that man had a less nice car, that man there could have a meal.”.    None of the Salwen’s could’ve predicted what happened next.

Over a series of conversations they decided to sell their home and move into one that was half the price.  The proceeds of the home sale they wanted to help the world.  They ultimately focused on the Hunger Project.  Thru this amazing book, you read about the details and thought processes of this journey.  It begs all of us to ask, “How can I make a difference?”  Most of us might not live in a mansion like the Salwens once did, but they encourage readers to think about how they can give up half.  Maybe it’s as simple as cutting TV time in half each week and volunteering as a family. 

One of the activities Hannah suggests for families is called What Can You Give Away?  Very simply, think about your time, your treasures, and your talents.  What are you willing to give.  You might turn this into a game and have each family member write what they see about you.  Then, you can choose one card and act on it.  The Power of Half is a must read book for anyone who wants to make a difference in the lives of others.  It’s a perfect read for this season of generosity and good will that will inspire you to give more, do more, and reach out to others.

I wanted to share my gratitude for a simple act of kindness that happened to me over a year ago.   I had been having a very tough week and one particular day felt very down.  I went to the grocery store and didn’t feel like talking to anyone or really even being there.  Then, the light hit me.  It was the light of one person’s simple act of kindness.  When I came to the checkout counter, I was greeted with the most warm smile, peaceful mindset,and pure love.  This young woman was radiating joy in her presence.  I can’t remember what she said, or what we talked about, but it moved me.  She had no idea how her small gesture of kindness and her presence, opened me up and shifted my entire day around.  I share this story not just to give gratitude for the small things that touch us in our lives, but to remind each one of us we are all capable of making a difference and you never know who you are going to help.   Let’s give gratitude for the small things and remember our ability to impact others.  Edmund Burke, once said, “Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do little”.

How is gratitude showing up in your family?  One of the best ways to teach our kids about gratitude is setting a good example ourselves.  As we think about gratitude this month, here are a few things to consider. 

• Do you discuss what you’re grateful for in your family on a regular basis? How can you incorporate it more into everyday conversations?
• When you’re having a bad day, would you normally complain or start with what is going right?
• Do you approach each day with an abudance mindset or a scarcity mindset?  This means finding a sense of peace with time, friends, supply, ideas.  It’s easy to get caught up in thinking we don’t have enough, but its so important to stop, reframe, and think about what we have, and be grateful.  We do have enough energy, time, love, balance, and supply.
• Have you done a community service project as a family? 

Have you ever thought about how you really want to show up for the holidays?  Would you like to arrive feeling calm, happy, and energized or stressed and overwhelmed?  How are you going to decide who to be?  If it feels like it’s impossible to put aside to-do lists and actually relax during the holiday season, take a minute to rethink the possibilities. What would it be like if you actually went thru this holiday season feeling grateful and at ease?  As much as we all love this time of year, it often brings stress.  Decide how you want to show up for the holidays this year and use these simple ideas to reduce stress, add more holiday joy, and show up on your terms. 

 1) Visualize Your Perfect Holiday Season
Have you ever stopped to really think about and visualize what you want your holiday to look and feel like?  Visualizing what you want is the first step to creating the perfect moments and memories.  Take a minute to sit down and listen to your favorite music or look at holiday lights and just write down for 5 minutes what you want in as much detail as possible.

2) Get Clear on Your Priorities

It’s so easy to feel like the Holiday Season is a huge list of “ I Have To’s”.  Don’t give in this year!  If you have completed step one, take your vision and really think about what is important to me this year?  Is it spending time with your children or relatives?  Is it giving to others?  Is it just making sure you relax and enjoy the time?  Once you have your three to five priorities, write them down and put them in a place you look at often.  Now, anytime a new activity or request comes up, check and see if it is on your priority list before you commit.

 3) Yes, You Can Say No

So, what do you do when you were just asked to have another party for friends and it just doesn’t fit into your schedule or priorities?  It can feel impossible to say no when you feel like others are depending on you or you may hurt people’s feelings.  For starters, always give yourself time to think about your decision.  When people make requests, let them know you’ll get back to them.  It’s very important for you to make decisions that are in line with your values and priorities.  When you do that, you will feel the best about your decision.  When you do say no, try to keep it simple, focus on the positive, and stand firm in your decision.  Get help from a supportive friend and role play your response if you need to.  

 4) Find a Way to De-Stress

With all of the extra holiday activities it may feel impossible to keep up your normal exercise or healthy habits.  Make as much time as you can, even if it’s in smaller increments.  If you have 1 minute you may sit in place and take a few deep breaths followed by some shoulder rolls.   If you have 5 minutes, you may try some simple stretches at your home or office.  If you have 20 minutes or more, go for a walk or pick a cardio activity that gets your heart pumping.  This too will release natural endorphins and leave you feeling great!

 5) Create More Time

There never seems to be enough time to get everything done.  Create more time for yourself by using these ideas.  Ask yourself each day, “ Is there anything I can get more help with?”  Perhaps hiring cleaning help for the month or asking your kids or spouse to chip in, you will create small windows of time.  Make a plan each night and pick your actions wisely.  When is the best time for you to do certain activities?  Do you work best in the morning or evening?  Carefully select which tasks to do at your best and worst hours.  

 6) Be Present in the Moment

When you decide to live your holiday vision, make sure you are present in the moment.  It’s very easy to get swayed into thinking about your to-do list or other concerns.  Not only can others tell you’re not fully present with them, but it will diminish your holiday memories.  What use is it to just go thru the motions?   Make a promise to yourself to stay in each moment and keep your ultimate vision you created in step one in front of you.

 By using these steps, you will show up for the holidays in a way you envisioned.  Enjoy this precious time with friends and family and the holiday moments and new memories you create.

Have you ever taken a second to see where clutter is creeping into your life?  Maybe it’s very obvious by the piles of paperwork on your desk, or the mail pile overflowing.  Possibly, it’s more hidden.  It might be a mind cluttered full of worry or negative thinking.  Maybe, it’s the closet you are afraid to open because something might fall on you.  Clutter can take over our life like dandelions invading a beautiful lawn.  It masks our ability to move forward productively.  Follow these seven tips and you’ll be sure to help get your life cleaned up and decluttered.

 Step 1: What is Cluttering Your Mind?

Any time someone is trying to bring more order or organization into their life, it can be a daunting and overwhelming task.  The first step to organizing your life is to take a few deep breaths and relax.  Next think about what areas in your life feel cluttered or out of control and write down every area you would like to organize.  You may want to ask yourself a few questions.  What is cluttering your mind? What is going to give you the greatest sense of freedom?  What seems to be holding you back? 

 Step 2: Start Small

Now that you have a list of things you want to organize, circle the top three places you’d like to focus on. Now, take a look at your short list and identify your number one priority.   This is the first and only thing you are going to focus on so you don’t overwhelm yourself.  Now you’re ready for the third step.

 Step 3: Eliminate What You are Tolerating

Next, you want to eliminate what you are tolerating. Take a look at the list you wrote about what is cluttering your mind and identify what things can be thrown out or eliminated.  For example, you may begin by throwing out or giving away anything you haven’t worn or used for a year.  This will make more room for you to get organized. 

Step 4:  Spend 15 Minutes a Day

An easy way to take big steps towards organization with minimum impact on your life is to spend 15 minutes a day working towards your organization goal.  Write down a time on your calendar where you can set this time aside.  Once you’re able to keep that commitment, you may want to add a little more time for your goal. 

 Step 5:  Find a System that Works

As you bring organization to your life, find a system that fits with you.  Do you like color coding, computerizing, or do you have your own system?  Sometimes we get paralyzed when worrying how to organize, rather than just picking the system that feels right for us as individuals.  Make sure your plan includes a way to block out new clutter.  Maybe the kids start to put their clothes away before bed, or your bills get put into the appropriate file folder at the end of each bill paying session.

 Step 6: Use the Two Minute Rule

So, you’ve started to bring more organization to your life and the last thing you want to do is to add more chaos.  The solution?  The two minute rule.  Anything that comes across your desk or to-do list that takes 2 minutes or less, do it now, don’t let it pile up and create more disorder.

Step 7: Finish What You Start 

As you set out to organize your life, give yourself a deadline.  Make sure it is reasonable and within a day or week time frame.   If your goal is to start by organizing your home office, you may find it helpful to set deadlines for different parts of that project.  The desk will be completed in one week, the file organized the next week, and the computer the third week.

Now that you’ve tackled your organizational dilemma using these seven steps, repeat the process until you feel you’ve added organization into your life where you want.  You will not only feel in control, but you’ll be able to see your desk top again.

All of us get hung up on our mistakes at one time or another.  All of us have run down the mental checklist of “I wish I would’ve, could’ve, etc…”.  You know the drill.  One of the best ways to start loving yourself more is to let intuition in and throw negative self talk out.

Step 1.  Take note of how much negative dialogue is going on in your head on a daily basis.  How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10?  Are you constantly rehearsing negative thoughts, or are you able to stay focused more on the positive?

Step 2.  Start an intuition log.  Write down at least 3 times a day you notice you are acting on your intuition.  Intuition is that gut feeling you get that feels completely in alignment at your core.  It’s that small voice inside your head that is good for you, not the negative nagging one.

Step 3.  Reconnect with what you really want in your life.  Take out a piece of paper and divide it into 5 boxes.  Write down the categories of Self, Family and Friends, Professional Life and Fun.  Then write down 1-3 things that are really important to you in each category.  Circle your most important.  Pick one or two categories you want to commit to make a change in.  Maybe you want to spend more quality time with your kids or maybe getting together with your girlfriends is a priority. 

Step 4.  Take Action.  Now that you have a focus, make sure you follow through.  You might consider starting a journal where you jot down different activities you incorporated for the day that felt totally like you or in perfect alignment.

Congratulations!  As you replace negative self talk with activities that are aligned with your true self you will develop a greater sense of appreciation for who you are and the beauty around you.

One of the toughest times to appreciate who we are comes in the midst of life taking a turn for the unexpected.  Whether it’s losing your job, relocating, financial loss, a dream lost, or a business that doesn’t turn out the way you think it should.  All of us hold dreams and visions for ourselves and sometimes what happens in life doesn’t match our expectations.  That’s okay.  Just recognize these trying times might test your ability to see your own worth.  You might find yourself grieving, feeling angry, depressed, or even lost.  But, this turn in life, doesn’t have to be a negative, it might just be the best thing to help you really get in touch with you are and what gifts you are meant to give.  If you’re finding you’re having a hard time appreciating who you are, take these tips to heart to help you see all the good inside you. 

Maintain a High Level of Self Care

During times of stress, for most of us self care is the first thing to go.  Make it a priority.  Write down 3 things you know make you operate better and make you feel good.  For me, I know I need to go on a walk almost every day and attend a yoga class at least once a week.  Look at a typical week, how well do you think you take care of these top 3 needs?  Where can you improve?  Schedule your top 3 self care items first and commit to them. 

 Make Time to Be Still

Reconnecting with ourselves requires moments of stillness.  When we feel lost or uncomfortable it’s easy to run from those feelings, or fill the void with noise and busyness.  Find at least 10 minutes a day you can be still.  Make it personal to you.  What’s your favorite way?  To mediate, pray, sit in nature, or journal? 

 Rewrite Your Story

What is the story that is replaying in your head about yourself or this situation?  We’ve all done it to ourselves.   It’s the comments like, “I’ll never be married” or “I’ll never find a new job” or “I’m not as good as my fraternity brother…look how much money he’s making now”.  Take a step back from your story.  Write down an uncensored version of everything you’ve said to yourself about you, and this situation.  If it is coming from a place of fear or negativity, try to think about a new way to approach it.  For example, if you just lost your job, instead of thinking you’re a horrible worker or you’ll never find work, your new story might say something like “I’ve always wanted to try x…or I know I have a lot of value to add”, or “this will give me a chance to explore things I never thought I would”.  Once you’ve re-written your story, post in a place that will remind you of a new way to look at and talk about your situation. 

 Ask Others for Support

Having loving unconditional support around us is so important, especially during times of change and transition.  Decide how you need to be supported.  Do you need to spend time with friends?  Do you need someone to talk to?  Do you need someone to offer input?  Once you figure out how you can best be supported, ask for it.  Your friends won’t be able to read your mind. 

Stay steady and don’t give up.  Depending on what transition your facing, this can take time to adjust and feel on top again.  Be patient with yourself and try to keep looking for the good inside you.  It’s there and it’s ready to be seen.

Finding the perfect balance between fun, work, life, and family seems for many an impossible quest. It’s a delicate balance and it might be comforting to know many of us have the same questions, doubts, and hesitations about this game.  Through my own experience and in helping others, I have found five tips to create more fun and balance all around.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but by integrating these tips into your life, you will be well on your way.

1.  Decide What is Important to You

Decide what balance looks like for you.  Start by having fun with it.  Cut out pictures and write in your journal.  Find the words to describe your perfect life in all aspects.  Create a separate page or section for family, work, personal, etc…  Then dive deeper into the details.  How much time are you working, spending with family, with yourself, with friends or your significant other?  How much money do you want to make?  How many hours do you want to work?  What type of people do you want to be around?  What do you like to do for fun?  Get really clear about these different pieces and your ideal destination today.  Yes, this will change for you, so revisit your list every few months.

2. Be Present

Sarah is a successful entrepreneur who works mostly from home.  She thought she was doing her kids a greater service because they were often home while she worked.  But, she realized she couldn’t be present with them.  Presence means being completely in the moment with the person you are with, whether it is business associates or family. A great tool to help further explain these concepts are two books by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now and A New Earth.  When Sarah realized she was mentally in two places at the same time, she really worked hard to practice more presence in her life.  She started small by noticing when she was being pulled in different directions.  Take note, how often does this happen to you?  Next, pick one activity or time you’d like to have more presence and give it a try.

3. Keep Health a Priority

Incorporating fun and balance in our lives leads to better health.  On the flip side, if we’re not taking care of ourselves we will really put limits on ourselves to have fun and enjoy our lives. Start with your health to ensure a happier and more productive you.  Take a look at all areas of your health including mental and physical health.  Look at your sleeping, eating, exercising, and stress management habits.  Where would you like to improve?  One of the biggest obstacles people face is having time for more healthy habits.  Really, no one has time; it’s a matter of making and choosing priorities.  Introduce one healthy habit at a time.  Maybe you start by drinking more water.  Next, figure out an ideal amount of time you want to spend getting fit and work up to it.  Maybe you start by finding four hours a month to exercise.  Write it down and then get creative!  This too can be fun!  You might build in more exercise time by making it a family event.

4.  Time Block

Time blocking takes calendars to the next level.  Simply put, set aside time on Sunday or Monday to create a plan for the week.  Decide on the 3 most important personal, business, and family tasks you want to complete and don’t forget to schedule something fun to do every day! On a detailed schedule for the week you are going to include the 3 most important, as well as pre-scheduled.  You may even find it’s helpful to color code activities to get a sense of where your time is really going.  You can begin to add in more activities until your time block is full, but make sure you add personal things like family time, work out time, etc..You can always change your time block, but stay committed to the three priority activities you identify in each category.

5. It’s Ok to Say No

People who achieve better life work balance are great at saying no.  They figured out that they can choose what they have time to do.  They don’t always have to volunteer or be the best at everything.  Take note of your life.  Can you say no?  Are you clear about what you are and aren’t willing to do?  Look at times where you did say no.  What was the result?  Use that information and apply it to areas in your life where you’d like to say no more often.

Wherever you are in this journey, pick one place to start.  Remember to go easy on yourself, make it fun,  and take it one step at a time.  Start by focusing on one area you’d like to bring more fun or balance into your life and you will find before you know it you’ll be happier and healthier!

By:  Carrie Silver-Stock

Teen expert and founder of GirlsWithDreams.com.