Hi,  it’s Mariane.

When I feel the flow of abundance, it is sprinkled with love, joy and gratitude.  How wonderful it is to continually create an abundance of time to enjoy this precious banquet called life.  I didn’t always feel this way!

With each year that passes, because of all the Love choices I make, I am being restored to my original innocence; the time before conditioning.

What do I mean by conditioning?  It is all the information you were told and took in, that was not in harmony with your true nature – which is Love.

April is my birthday month and I would like to give you each a gift.  It is what brings me happiness no matter what is going on outside me.

Life is filled with choices. Choose only Love!

It is my joy to live abundantly.  I receive all the help I need from all the helpers I meet along the way, each of them teaching me more and more about my Self. What an adventure!

Knowing and truly loving me as I am, is the most valuable gift I give myself and others every day.  You have the power to do the same for yourself and others.

Love & Blessings,  Mariane.

Hi, it’s Mariane.  This month we get to share information about relationships.  Since my husband Rollon and I are involved in what we call a “Conscious Loving Relationship”, when I use the word “relationship”, I am actually referring to a “Conscious Loving Relationship.” Conscious Loving Relationships are an opportunity to experience one of the most unique forms of healing and initiation into higher levels of consciousness. They are an invitation to living in a state of excellence and an opportunity to really know yourself and others deeper than you may have thought possible.  This kind of relationship will reveal things about you that you haven’t been able to perceive on your own.

When Rollon and I chose to become a couple, it was very clear to both of us that we wanted to learn to love consciously.  We wanted true equality and honesty in our relationship.

Before meeting Rollon, I had spent thirty-five years behaving like a victim and I knew I needed to change my behaviors in order to achieve an equal and honest partnership. This required telling the truth even when I was scared to do so.  I had to choose to take half of the responsibility when conflict occurred. It was necessary to speak my truth even when I felt uncomfortable in the pit of my stomach.  In the past, I made many compromises, which didn’t feel right and subsequently created many resentments, much confusion and distance from my partner (my inner defense mechanisms hard at work). This resulted in my fantasy that I really had no preferences. I could make anything OK.  I had a big surprise when I woke up from that fantasy. When I wasn’t denying what I wanted in order to “keep the peace”, I discovered that I had many preferences.

Prior to the start of our relationship, Rollon and I experienced a combined sixty- three years of unconscious, unloving relationships with others,  that made it clear what we didn’t want now in a relationship. We decided that non-equality and compromise was not what we wanted to experience, so we learned to use our creativity to discover “win/win”  ways  in which we both got what we needed.  This was a real challenge for me because I was conditioned to not make waves, no matter what the cost to my integrity.

Through trial and error we discovered four primary principles that served as a guide to help us navigate the fabulous journey to a conscious loving relationship. We both vowed to ourselves and to each other to do our best to live and love in accordance with these four principles.  These principles became a sacred contract and a platform on which we could stand together as equal partners on the divine journey to unity.  We would like to share them with those who have the will and courage to go beyond the many relationship “fairy tales”, well-intentioned relationship “help” books and most of all, their own illusions and conditioning.

CONSCIOUS LOVING RELATIONSHIP    (Pledge means: promise, vow or guarantee)

1) I PLEDGE MYSELF TO FULL OPENNESS, CLOSENESS AND HONESTY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP AND TO CLEARING ANYTHING WITHIN ME, THAT MAY BE IN THE WAY.

2) I PLEDGE MYSELF TO MY OWN COMPLETE EVOLUTION AND DEVELOPMENT AS AN INDIVIDUAL.

3) I PLEDGE TO FULLY AND COMPLETELY REVEAL MYSELF IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, NOT TO HIDE OR REPRESS WHAT I SENSE, HOW I FEEL OR WHAT I THINK.

4) I PLEDGE MYSELF TO ALWAYS BE AWARE THAT, CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY, I AM THE CREATOR OF ALL THAT I EXPERIENCE.

Today is a new day.  It’s your choice.  Be brave – it’s worth it!

Love & Blessings,  Mariane and Rollon

Hi, it’s Mariane.  Since my last birthday, I have been feeling so young and free that I have been telling those who asked how old I was that:  “I just turned seventeen; I was not pregnant and I was not married for thirty-five years to the father of the baby.  I was feeling so wonderful about this that I was surprised, that for the last week, I have been experiencing pain on my right mid torso area after eating.  I dismissed it as gas.  On Sunday, January 17^th, I began to experience excruciating pain in that same area of my body.  I was feeling pressure and pain on my bladder and I needed to urinate constantly.  The pain and pressure also engaged my kidneys, liver and gall bladder.  Earlier that day, I had eaten some squash that seemed to be not agreeing with my body. My body was letting me know how unhappy it was and my inner self told me I was possibly heading for a big emotional breakthrough.

Rollon, my current husband, and I went into my treatment room, which I usually used for my work with my clients, to discover what we could do to help my body.  The pain became unbearable.  My head was filled with fear.  I could hear it saying: “Are you crazy?  Get yourself to a hospital!”  Instead, I chose to confront the fear and the programs playing in my head that were saying: “The hospital and doctors were the only way to obtain relief.”  I said to myself:  “Let’s see where this wants to go.  I asked Rollon: “Will you be able to be with me and go wherever this thing is taking me?”  He said: “Yes, I am with you all the way.”

The pain was so intense, but his warm hands on my body felt comforting as the pain got worse and worse.  “Go deeper into the pain, go deeper into the pain” the voice within me coached; so I did. Suddenly, I was experiencing myself at seventeen years old, feeling the terror, anger, helplessness, lies, and self-betrayal.  The seventeen year old began speaking with a choking, strained voice starting out like a whisper, then becoming desperate, loud and fierce.  She finally broke through all the bull-shit that had been keeping the emotions repressed and her pain from my awareness.  Her (my) voice was finally released completely to say all the things she couldn’t when she/I was seventeen:  “I don’t want a baby, I don’t want to be with this man who fathered the baby and I really don’t even like him.  I am only a kid; I don’t know how to care for a baby.” Then the painful realization came though that I had never felt loved by my own parents and the voice within me screamed out:  “I want to be the baby.  I want someone to love me and take care of me.” My screams became louder and louder and my whole body was shaking.  Then all the “poison” both physical and emotional in her/my body released through vomiting.  I no longer cared how it looked to Rollon, who was witnessing all of this.

During this release, I revisited the horror of the delivery of the baby I was pregnant with…..twenty-four hours of painful labor, being all by myself in a cold room, hearing the screams of other women in the distance.  I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t want to scream and be poked and exposed by anyone in a white coat.  All the while I was feeling the intense pressure on me to release the baby. Finally it was all over; the baby was born. It was all too much, so I buried my emotions deep inside me and stayed married to the father of the baby for thirty-five years because of a false obligation I felt toward him for marrying me when I was pregnant and “saving” my reputation.  At that time I didn’t believe that I had any other choice but to marry the father of the baby, a man I didn’t love.

Thank God for a bad piece of squash that became a catalyst for my breakthough.  I was finally able to really feel those emotions I had buried when I was seventeen and I was able to fully express and release them, knowing someone (Rollon) was there caring for me and comforting me with his quiet voice. I knew that someone was finally strong enough to be with me though the release. All the emotional and physical pain dissipated completely and it has not returned. I felt filled with joy and freedom!

To all my dear sisters who had babies before they were truly ready; I dedicate this blog to you.  If you would like more detailed information, feel free to give me a call at 928-282-4375.

Love & Blessings, Mariane Parisi

Hi, it’s Mariane, with more revelations regarding the dangers of repressed emotions.  Your evidence of having guilt and shame emotions hidden within yourself is your automatic responses like: “I’m sorry.”  Someone bumps into you or steps on your foot and you respond: “I’m sorry.”  Pay attention to how many times you automatically say: “I’m sorry.”  You may find yourself feeling “in the way”, “being a bother” or “taking up too much space or time.”  How often do you find yourself worrying about what others may think or feel about you or your beliefs?  What about that “sick” feeling in your stomach when you sense you may have done something wrong?  How often do you feel “defective” in some way?  Do you often say yes, when you would really rather say no; feeling that you must keep the peace because something uncomfortable might happen?

As children, we are so open and responsive to an adult’s will.  “Be a good girl, Mariane” was a signal that I wasn’t being good. I was quick to speak out about the lies I was hearing and the contradictions that adults spoke.  My efforts to be a “truth teller” were met with the adult response: “Nice girls don’t feel that way.”  I do, I pondered.  There must be something wrong with me (shame & guilt).  I must not let that show or everyone will know I’m not nice.  Pleasing others was the game I learned to play.  Pretend, pretend, pretend, hide, hide, hide was the “safe” way to be.

My mom died when she was forty-one.  My real feelings about that were a relief that she was gone.  I was so ashamed to feel that way!  I dreaded going to the hospital to watch her die.  I could see and feel that her cancer treatments were actually killing her; but who would listen to and believe a kid? I remained silent in my helplessness.  The battle I was fighting inside myself was destroying my sense of worth and value, as I judged myself continuously.  What kind of person could feel like this?  I experienced even more guilt and shame when she finally passed.  It was my fault!

The lesson I learned from this is that holding these emotions in and tormenting yourself with them,  keeps you in a painful prison of your own making.  It robs you of your value, dignity and freedom – your “juice” of life.  Having the courage to feel and express these emotions honestly allows you to break through to self-worth, authenticity and freedom.

As Elton John wrote over forty years ago:

“LOVE IS THE KEY WE MUST TURN;

TRUTH IS THE FLAME WE MUST BURN;

FREEDOM THE LESSON WE MUST LEARN.”

Love & Blessings, Mariane Parisi

Hi everyone, this is Mariane and I want to share some expanded and clarified information about the emotions to the participants in the wonderful roundtable discussion some of us enjoyed during the Blogcast on January 4, 2010.

What I know to be true is Love is what we are made of; Love is the food that nourishes our being – everything else is an illusion! Love just IS – it requires nothing outside of you.

Love is not a feeling or emotion. Human emotions and feelings are so misunderstood. We have so many judgments and misconceptions around them. We blame others for our feelings and we feel guilt and shame over how we feel. All this is an illusion that only appears to be real.

Emotions and feelings are important information about us – what we like and don’t like; what we want and what we don’t want. Most important, emotions are TEMPORARY. If you don’t like the emotion you are feeling, just sit with it without judging it or blaming it on someone else, for 10 –30 minutes, until it goes away without any effort on your part. Stop pretending you don’t experience them. They need to be experienced and expressed. They are the “juice” of life. Emotions are like the weather, unpredictable and constantly changing. They seldom stay the same for very long.

We all feel emotions both pleasant and unpleasant. The pleasant ones like joy, peace, happiness, pleasure and serenity are a welcome experience for most of us, but our distress and disease come from the feelings we hide, repress and deny the most like: anger, hate, loneliness, trapped, numb, shocked, stuck, embarrassed, exposed, awkward, bored, discouraged, ashamed, unworthy, guilty, humiliated, dissatisfied, resistant, closed off, disappointed, uneasiness, resentful, bitter, offended, powerless, weak, drained, exhausted, tense, pressured, over-whelmed, inadequate, helpless, jealous, envious, fear, regret, doubt, etc., etc., etc.

For most of my life, the emotion “sad” was the mask for my anger. Sad drains our energy and anger held inside creates tiredness, lifelessness. Anger expressed has the power to create change. When I feel anger, I now know that what just happened was something I didn’t like. When I allow myself to honestly feel the anger without judging or criticizing it, I begin to slow down the situation so that I can be aware of what the anger is attempting to show me. It becomes clear that something is happening that I don’t like and I feel helpless. I perceive a situation that I don’t agree with and I become aware of my preferences or expectations that have not been satisfied.

If the preferences or expectations involve another person and I have not shared with them my preferences and expectations prior to their behavior which I reacted to, then the anger I feel may end up being projected by me on to them as blame.

Anger also reveals my intolerances, expectations and projections that I was not aware of. My self-betrayals (not telling the truth) and people-pleasing behavior became exposed. I have an opportunity to stop behaving as a victim or the pretender and to honestly express my emotions which frees me and everybody else.

When I deny or suppress my feelings, they affect me hurtfully (depression, disease, etc.) and they hurt others when I blame them as the cause of my feelings. Nobody else can make you feel an emotion unless you choose to create it yourself.

Right now, you can choose to stop wasting precious time waiting for someone to take care of your feelings, as if you were an infant who isn’t capable of taking care of themselve.

This New Year, be that someone who takes the best care of you, someone you know, someone that truly loves YOU.

BreakThrough In Letting Go of  Old Patterns

In this first episode Jaimes McNeal, creator and host of BreakThrough Blogcast is joined by co-host Marianne Parisi and 5 roundtable guests.

Roundtable Guests: Barb Stemmler, Carol Fitzsimmons, Karen Henselmeier, Laura Simon and Victoria McRoy.

Marianne shares her story as a young mother in such a powerful way that it opens up the door for connection and honesty between sisters Carol and Laura. Later, Laura is inspired to create healing with her own son on the eve of his 20th birthday. “Pay attention to how many people you allow yourself to be loved by this week,” suggests Marianne.

To listen to episode 1 click the play › button to the left below

You can listen and/or download this episode and all of the BreakThough Blogcast episodes on iTunes.

BreakThrough BlogCast is a virtual roundtable hosted every Monday from 6:00 pm – 7:00 pm CST by Jaimes McNeal, Co- Director and Featured Teacher in Breakthrough: A Conscious Documentary.

Each week, Jaimes and a Featured Guest Co-Host will embark on ExtraOrdinary Conversations with Ordinary People all about mastering life. With interaction from our Online Community, you will discover tools and real-life solutions to help you discover your greatest potential.

For information on how to listen to the blogcast live or participate as a co-host or roundtable guest please visit our BlogCast page

Doing the same things in the same way, and expecting new and different results is the classic definition of insanity!

This New Year is the perfect time to choose a new beginning by choosing to do things in a new way and setting your intent on new results.

First, ask yourself this question:  “Do I really want a new beginning, or am I just kidding myself?” A new life requires you to clearly observe your behaviors.  Your behaviors show people how you want to be treated.  Be objective as you view your behaviors as though you were watching a movie.

Earlier in my life, I endured a challenge for six years before I chose a new behavior. During those six years, I had a dog who pissed all over my house.  I couldn’t get the dog to change his behavior.  I was completely missing what the dog was showing me.

Big surprise!  When I clearly observed what was happening in my life, I realized that I allowed most people to figuratively “piss all over me.”  So I changed my behavior – I got rid of the dog!  My husband of thirty-five years said; “I didn’t think you had it in you.  Looks like you are systematically going through your life and getting rid of all the things that really bother you; maybe I am next.”  “Could be.” I replied.

When our words and actions do not match our behavior, we are not believable.  Letting go of that dog transformed my life.  For a while, my inner thoughts gave me a hard time by calling me “A cold and heartless bitch – what’s wrong with you?”  Then I heard a gentle voice starting to come through – “This is your first attempt at sanity – relax – everything is OK.”  I started the process of letting go of what people thought or felt about me.  I did let go of that husband, and the illusions about that relationship. A new woman emerged and I love sharing her with you.

For your “New Beginning” this New Year, one of the most powerful behaviors you can choose to do in a new way is speaking out and expressing your emotions, fully and honestly, rather than repressing them. This single change in your behavior will transform your entire life.

Enjoy the New Year, the New You and your New Life!

Love & Blessings, Mariane Parisi

Hi, this is Mariane Parisi with my first-ever “blog.”  For you to fully get the picture, I will briefly describe the house where my loving huband Rollon and I live.  The upstairs floor is the main living area including the kitchen.  The downstairs floor has two rooms connected by a passageway from the bottom of the stairs.  One room is Rollon’s office where our computer resides, and when Rollon is using the computer he faces the computer screen and the beautiful Sedona red rock mountains, but away from the passageway between the two rooms.  The other room has, among other things, an inside hot tub.  Rollon can’t see the hot tub from his position when using the computer.

We love starting our day, naked in the warm waters of the hot tub, listening to our favorite music, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and dreams.  This a very special time for us, very precious, loving and nurturing.  This morning, I was involved with some cooking in the kitchen when Rollon came to get me for our hot tub time.  I told him I would meet him downstairs shortly.  He went ahead to wait for me. When I came down the stairs, Rollon was facing the computer screen so I announced, “I‘m here.” assuming he heard me and would join me in the hot tub immediately.  I got in the hot tub and waited for about fifteen minutes, then remembered I left something cooking on the stove upstairs. So, I got out and went upstairs to check on the cooking and I began to notice an emotional disturbance in my stomach – I felt distant from Rollon, and closed off from loving feelings – wow! I am in a reaction – I’m angry.

When I went downstairs again, Rollon heard me and joined me in the hot tub.  My head was telling me that whatever he was doing on the computer was more important to him than being in the hot tub with me.  Because we have vowed to always be honest with each other and share our feelings, I chose that moment to share all that I was feeling.  His response was,“I never heard you say you were here and I didn’t know you were until you came downstairs the second time.  I wasn’t aware that you had already spent fifteen minutes in the tub waiting for me.  That’s why I didn’t join you immediately the first time you came downstairs.  Being with you in the hot tub is much more important to me than working with the computer, I was just filling in my time doing something productive while waiting for you to finish your cooking chore.”

After hearing Rollon’s response and feeling the truth of it, I could clearly see that my entire reaction was based on a miscommunication rather than what really was going on.  If I had chosen to repress my feelings and not speak up and share my feelings of distance, closed off from love, there would not have been any resolution (clearing) of the miscommunication.

In the past, I might have carried and amplified those feelings for the whole day—or even days.  My sharing of the feelings, in the moment honestly, allowed us to quickly and completely resolve the situation and return to precious loving closeness.

What I have learned is that keeping feelings to yourself (repression or stuffing) rather than honestly sharing them with your partner, creates distance, separation, anger, resentment, blame, etc. Sharing your feelings with your partner, honestly in the moment, without blame, brings the two of you back together to enjoy more love.

Love & Blessings, Mariane & Rollon.